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While I was in this new position, they came to visit us. That’s when my feelings began to grow for my friend … feelings that I could no longer deny. I put them in small box in the back of my mind, in an area where only God and I knew about them, and put a lid on the box. If I wanted to keep my job and continue to have the respect of my peers, I couldn’t share my feelings and I could not allow others to know they existed. It was truly a battle of sorts, wanting to express my feelings openly and having to suppress them at the same time. After two years in my position, and having traveled over large portions of the United States with music groups to drum up interest in the newly formed college, my wife and I resigned our positions with the schools and moved back to the Detroit area. Within three days of our arrival, I was hired to head up another music program, and, as fate would have it, there was also a position opening up where I worked that I thought my friends would be suited to. How frustrating will that be, after I'vepsyched myself up all day for a rogering I'm sure I'll remember when I'vestarted mouthing the words I hear on the television news?Eventually I find the mettle to let my back press against his chest so Ican become accustomed to its rise and fall. Jeremy's response is to let hisfeet play with mine, tickling their soles with his toes.Then his hand touches my shoulder, making me shiver."You know I'll stop the moment you ask me to," he says softly against thelobe of my ear."It's okay," I whisper back. "Just first-night nerves."I've got this far without wanting to throw up. I'm not backing out now.He begins caressing my plump upper arm. The sensation is pleasant enough, Isuppose, but I can't say that it excites me.Then his other hand is on my waist. I gasp, because it doesn't stay therebut travels directly to my left breast. Not pawing, not kneading. Justholding it.Which may explain why I grip his arm but don't pull it away.And now my lips part and.
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